The Law In Order: The Squealer

“Terry Smith is a fucking grass”. That was written on a wall near Orlok’s childhood home. Apparently squealing to the forces of law and order will get you the ultimate pre-internet doxing available if you do so without due care and attention. Over the years some cheeky wag had scraped away the solitary “a” and the first two letters of “grass” to publicly shame Terry in a different way. It was a different time back then.

DATELINE:
August 2106 (Daily Star).

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE?:
John Wagner and Alan Grant are ratted on by Ron Smith.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT (IN ONE SENTENCE)?:
A mob squealer needs protection.

WHO’S THAT IN THE HELMET?:
Judge Jones is on hand when Mickey The Mouth is brought in.
Chief Judge Hilda McGruder is in Brit Cit.

WHAT THE DROKK?:
The Mob apparently produces an android McGruder to greet the squealer. How do they pull this off? McGruder’s bodyguards at the scene apparently think it is her as does everyone apart from Dredd, so how could they not know where their Chief is and be duped into escorting this metal bastard?
Why is Mickey’s arrival being televised? Isn’t this a security risk?

WHAT’S THE ART LIKE?:
Standard.

HOW MANY LINKS?:
Three, if only for Dredd inviting his perp to “come clean” and then at the end being covered in something that looks like jizz.

The Law In Order: Big Guy

Freakishly tall people can be a problem. Orlok knows a dude who is two metres tall and has trouble getting into aeroplane seats, standard size vehicles and hotel beds. Rather than join Papa Lazarou’s circus and be beaten by midgets, he has instead elected to join the hospitality management industry and has to fly, drive and sleep all over the nation. Not these days though, but you know, some people just ask for it.

DATELINE:
August 2106 (Daily Star).

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE?:
John Wagner and Alan Grant tower over Ron Smith.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT (IN ONE SENTENCE)?:
A tall citizen is targeted.

WHAT THE DROKK?:
The Grand Hall has steps up to the entrance which must be nice for wheelchair users. I bet Tutor Judge Ram fucking hates it.

WHAT’S THE ART LIKE?:
Standard.

HOW MANY LINKS?:
Two, for the terrible joke at the end.

The Law In Order: The Glare

I don’t know if you have ever heard of Braco. He’s one of those bullshit faith healers who pops up now and again to swindle people out of money or exploit the gullible, but he does it by gazing. Yep, you read that right. Anyway, Orlok’s island is full of such imbeciles and they actually meet up at a hall with a TV screen and stand there basking in Braco’s hypnotoad stare. You’ve not experienced true madness until you have seen this shit with your own eyeballs.

DATELINE:
August 2106 (Daily Star).

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE?:
John Wagner and Alan Grant ask Ron Smith what he is looking at.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT (IN ONE SENTENCE)?:
Dredd arrests a staring citizen.

ANY LAW LORE?:
Public Order 420, Section 34 Subsection 6B prohibits “behaviour likely to provoke a breach of the peace…”. This may include glaring, which is punishable by 30 days.

WHAT’S THE ART LIKE?:
Standard.

HOW MANY LINKS?:
Three, and it is quite telling that Judges are allowed to glare but the citizenry are not. This is one of the many double standards of the regime.

ECBT2000AD Ep505: Prog 2175

The Literary Vandalism Episode.
John goes down the rabbit hole. ‘Chris, close the door!’. John has bought the latest ‘Judges’ and ‘Deadworld’ books. The collapse of Diamond Distributors and the end of the comic book industry in it’s current form. Boring Old Picard. Julia Child. The Adventures of Hershey Before She Wuz Dead!

Podcast available via iTunes or the Libsyn Webpage as a direct download.

The Law In Order: The Eat Of The Night

A competition to eat everything in sight? Pffft, there is no way that will ever get on telly. Mind you, we have seen skanky mistresses wanking off pigs, couples in pursuit of the perfect home birth and Kerry Katona’s face filling the screen without a sufficient trigger warning, so people will watch any old shit to while away the hours between diabetes shots. Fast forward to May 2020 and the biggest reality show will be “Take Me Out (With Covid 19) where Paddy McGuinness is repeatedly infecting assholes with a deadly plague.

DATELINE:
August 2106 (1985 Dredd Annual).

WHO’S RESPONSIBLE?:
John Wagner and Alan Grant chow down and Carlos Ezquerra provides the sick bags.

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT (IN ONE SENTENCE)?:
The inter-city eating championships come to the Big Meg.

CANON FODDER?:
Dredd’s elbow pads are the wrong colour.

WHAT’S THE ART LIKE?:
Again, tremendous colours and design work from King Carlos and I especially loved the fat cheerleaders. It’s a small thing but on the penultimate page, Dredd looks like he is flipping the Texans chief off.

HOW MANY LINKS?:
Somewhat ironically, this is quite a thin story and the only highlight is the argument over the consumption of the would-be assassin and the sight of the eating contest as a whole. The Jules Rimet Trough made me laugh out loud and I wonder if the Big Meg ever got to keep it? Three links.

ECBT2000AD Ep504: Prog 2174

Life in the Time of Covid-19!
Nice extra weekend Progcast. Don’t say we don’t spoil you!
‘Essential Worker’ John and Mr. Ross talk about YouTube celebrity concerts. Mr. Ross Dad is alive and well. What do YOU think of D’Isaeli’s art?

Podcast available via iTunes or the Libsyn Webpage as a direct download.