Latest short story comp over on the 2000AD forums had the following remit :
A 2000AD MOVIE MASH-UP. We want Monty Python’s Life Of Halo Jones, Dreddy Potter, Die Hard in Downlode… Twothy characters meet Hollywood, Bollywood, Pinewood or Ed Wood. As ever, we demanded magic in no more than 500 words.
As always thanks to the awesome Lizzie Boyle for organising this. Got permission from another person to reprint their story. Enjoy
The Evil Dredd
“Control to Anderson. Are you still on the clock?”
“Roger that, Control. I’m Psi ops duty officer for the night shift. What have you got?”
“Sounds like one right up your street. Citizen claiming that she has been molested by a tree and that she’s now sitting on a cellar full of undead demons. Proceed to Sam Raimi block and the Country Cabin Club on the ninth level mall.”
“Anderson responding. On my way.”
“Here we go again,” she thought, “another citizen with an overactive imagination and control sends a Psi Judge. We get all the nut jobs.”
The Cabin Club was tricked out with plasti-pine and fake vines. It looked dark and all quiet inside.
Anderson tried a standard Psi sweep and … Whoh! Red Alert!
Images of evil, death and corruption filled her mind.
“Control, Anderson here in Raimi. This one might get nasty. You better send me a couple of helmets with high Psi resistance scores.”
“Roger that, Anderson. Judges Tapert and Campbell will be with you in 10″
Not soon enough, thought Anderson as she kicked in the door and entered fast and low.
A woman’s voice cackled with laughter “Welcome, pretty one. Welcome to the fun.”
As Anderson’s eyes accustomed to the light she saw a body on the floor. A colourful stick protruded from the dead woman’s neck.
“Yes, we pencilled her out. You could say she died of lead poisoning”, again the voice descended into hideous laughter.
Anderson could see a demonic face leering at her from a trapdoor in the floor.
“Who are you,creep?”
“That’s not very nice, pretty one. Not that you’re really as pretty as you make people believe. But you’ll do. Let us out of here and we’ll talk.”
“Something tells me that would be a bad idea.”
“Join us, Anderson. Better deadite than Dredd-ite.”
“Think I’ll pass on that” said the Psi Judge as she moved into position, “let me guess. It’s the old haunted book and tape recorded incantation routine isn’t it? Well, you know what ancient parchment and magnetic tape have in common? They both burn.
Back outside the Cabin the smoke started to clear as Anderson adjusted her self and checked for psychic residue. All clear. Undead creeps never learn.
She turned to the approaching Judges.
“You can take over here, Campbell. Secure the scene. Tech boys can ID the victim.”
“Sure. What’s inside?”
“Inside there?” Replied the Psi judge with a weary sigh, “just ash. Nothing but Ash.”